Fourth Session

Tonight we introduced the hidden rules of class (poverty, middle class and wealthy).  Thinking about the hidden rules always makes me think of someone going undercover to an event for very wealthy, hoity-toity people and having to appear as if they're one of them.  Or if a person (politicians come to mind) from the middle class was trying to "fit in" with people in poverty to seem a certain way - like he or she isn't too good to associate with people who have less than they do.  The hidden rules are one of my favorite parts of Ruby Payne's framework because she outlines these underlying, understood, implied rules of class that aren't talked about.  The hidden rules also remind me of this piece written by Peggy McIntosh http://www.fjaz.com/mcintosh.html.

I feel like the group members are opening up more and showing that they trust each other.  Their stories are unfolding.  I have so much respect for each one because they are survivors, which is something else we talked about tonight.  People in poverty are in survival mode all the time - there's no such thing as planning for a Hawaiian vacation.  It can be compared to the fight-or-flight reaction... imagine being in "fight" mode all the time.  Fighting to have a dollar left in the bank account.  Exhausting.

My dad mentioned a training he attended for his job in which everyone was assigned certain circumstances with a certain amount of money.  They had to solve daily problems, from picking up the kids from school (without a car) to paying a late fee for the phone bill.  He said it really opened his eyes.  It made me wonder if somehow we could incorporate something like that to train people in middle class to understand the lives of people in poverty.

Going back to the hidden rules, one of the women had us laughing out loud when she said, with confidence, "I hate rich people!" which led to a great discussion about what people in the wealthy class think about people in poverty.  This particular woman said that she's very suspicious if a wealthy person wants to help her.... "it's just a tax write-off anyway."  The group challenged her belief and shared stories of middle-class and wealthy people who have helped them without expecting something in return.

So far this experience is rewarding for me because I'm part of a bigger goal to have a positive impact on this city (not to mention individual lives).  I appreciate that I was asked to be a part of it (thanks, John).  I also appreciate that my education and professional training is being utilized for something besides mental health because it's very refreshing.